I’m sick and tired of men’s egos ruining our world. And it always being our fault.
This article was originally published on the Digital Nomad Girls blog.
I’m so angry right now.
And I’m trying to filter it but I am sick and tired of trying to filter everything, to edit and format so the algorithms love it and Google approves of its “readability” and to make sure I don’t accidentally say anything that could offend anyone.
Don’t get me wrong, I do not want to offend or hurt anyone. But after I’ve edited and formatted and checked my language the anger will have dissipated and I’ll be so exhausted that I’ll binge 5 episodes of Grey’s Anatomy instead of allowing myself to share my anger.
So I didn’t filter too much. I hope that’s ok.
Why am I so angry?
Well, it’s Monday, so like every Monday for the past 4 years I started my week by hosting a virtual coworking session for my community, The Lab.
It’s my favourite way to start the week, with these incredibly smart, funny, wonderful women who are all trying to make a change in the world.
Like every Monday we started with a check-in: we share how we’re feeling and what we’ll be working on over the next 2 and a bit hours together.
But it’s not a normal Monday, is it?
Because only 4 days ago war broke out in Europe. Seemingly out of nowhere.
And one of my member’s Norwegian boyfriend may be called back to his country to fight if war breaks out with Russia.
And just one day ago my best friend in Australia was packing her and her husband and 3-year old daughter’s bags to wait to potentially be evacuated from the flood zone they’re currently living in, in Brisbane. Because this month Queensland is flooding, not burning.
No, it’s not a normal Monday.
But I can see how my members are all trying to hold it together. We put a brave face on. The British call it the “stiff upper lip”.
I mention it of course (it being Ukraine), how could I not? But I try to keep it light and breezy and most importantly professional, of course. I’m holding it together.
Because we’re here to work and support each other in our businesses and be productive. Like every Monday. Keep calm and carry on, right?
And during the check-in, at least 3 or 4 of my members mentioned something emotional (you know, worry, sadness, dare I even say fear in the face of a war). But then they all quickly brush it away and mention that they shouldn’t even complain and instead be grateful because of their privilege.
Yes, we have the privilege of sitting in our houses instead of bunkers. For not currently being turned away at a border because of our skin colour. For not being rejected for a visa by the UK government who is sending “love and prayers” but sadly can’t open its borders.
So yes, there’s that privilege. Of course.
But we are also still allowed to feel shit. We’re small human beings who are terrified of the future. We don’t know what’s going to happen, if WWIII is breaking out.
And it’s only been 4 F*CKING DAYS since war broke out in Europe!!! (how am I even writing this???)
We should be allowed to take a freaking moment to be sad and scared and devastated and furious.
FURIOUS.
I am furious at the patriarchy
Furious that a few rich white men with dick complexes can plunge the world into darkness from one day to the next.
Furious that the other rich white men with their dick complexes do nothing because of THE ECONOMY!
We already were told over the past 2 years that we have to accept hundreds of thousands of people dying because: THE ECONOMY.
And of course, they’re also not doing anything because they’re playing the world’s biggest game of chicken. A game of chicken with nuclear warheads.
A game that none of us wants to play, none of us consented to. But we are all forced to play anyway. And please keep the stiff upper lip, k thanks.
It is all a big game for them, isn’t it?
It’s a game for those billionaire men flying their dick-shaped rockets to Mars so they can escape the hellscapes they are creating on our planet while playing their favourite game of capitalism. Because: THE ECONOMY.
The “economy” is a made-up word. Capitalism is made up by humans. It’s an idea. Like mac and cheese was once an idea (a rather great one). Or Wordle was once an idea. (a fun one).
All ideas.
But we’ve been told that capitalism is the ONLY valid idea. The only idea that brings us prosperity and GROWTH and, drumrolls: HAPPINESS.
Growth is another one of those ideas. All human success is based on that idea. A successful, thriving world — a happy world! — is based on perpetual GROWTH. Never mind that we’re living on a finite planet.
Are you happy yet?
But who is thriving? Who is happy? Who has been happy lately? Even amongst the privileged ones?
Nobody is.
We’re terrified and scared and sad and feel guilty and very, very ashamed. But we’re all forced to play these games that we don’t want to play. All in the name of growth so one day we will have grown to be happy.
And at the same time, we’re told the lie that it’s all our fault. All the blame for everything has been put on the individual for decades.
This is the most genius piece of the capitalist, patriarchal, racist puzzle: that in the end, it’s always all our fault.
Rule #1: Always blame the individual
Are you sick? Probably your bad lifestyle. Definitely not the polluted air you’re breathing, the polluted food you’re eating, the 24/hour stress cycle you’re forced to live in. Not the trash we’ve been feeding you. The cigarettes we’ve been selling you.
Better start a diet, here subscribe to our gym (owned by the same people who brought you the trash food and body shame).
You’re poor? Well, that’s all on you mate. Pull yourself up by the bootstraps like all the self-made cowboys before you. Yeehaw!
Oh wait, you’ve got a vagina? Well then best manifest this shit, you queen!
Still not insanely rich and happy yet? Probably manifested it wrong, put some bad vibes out there. It’s definitely not the rigged, racist, sexist, colonialist system. Just your bad attitude.
But fear not, here’s my $5000 manifestation mastermind with a free bonus jade yoni egg, that’ll surely help with your bad, bad vibes. The universe will have your back in no time, queen.
Working a corporate job and you’re not being paid as much as your male colleagues? Well, LEAN IN honey! Take that seat at the table! But definitely get your 8–9 hours sleep too so you can THRIVE!
Mind your carbon footprint
Worried about climate change? Sad that the polar bears are dying and bees are going extinct and the trees are burning or flooding or blowing away in the dust?
Well, time to upgrade to an electric car. And switch to that eco-friendly deodorant for £12 a stick with the recycled plastic case, it comes in LGBTQ+ rainbow colours too. And switch to an organic plant-based diet. But don’t buy the bad tofu, do you want the rainforest to die?
Here, let me help, BP just shared a carbon footprint calculator on Twitter to help you become a better person and save the planet. Oh, they’re one of the 100 polluters responsible for this mess? Well, it’s really on you, you hypocrite because you took the bus to the climate protest, so you’re really just as bad as them.
SELF-care to the rescue
Now you feel guilty? Ashamed? Depressed? Anxious? Terrified? Well, you must focus on your mental health!
Didn’t you know #SelfCare is important for your productivity? Meditation helps, buy this app for $10 that’ll teach you to meditate like a boss. And weekly therapy is only £300 a month, it’s the BEST investment you’ll ever make. #selfcare
Still not better? Probably your habits or routine! Have you bullet journaled? Taken up yoga?
Maybe you need a break. Have you even DONE Bali yet?? It’s that kind of spiritual vibe you need. But make sure to stay at the eco-resort and use a paper straw in your coconut. #SaveTheTurtles
You’re terrified of the future and don’t know if you even want to put kids into this world? Well, how selfish of you!
A good woman becomes a mother. And smart people like you should definitely procreate so your smart offspring can fix the shit show those few dick men in power have created.
But psst, you also best start saving up for the good nursery now because you don’t want little Olivia to have to go to school with the poor kids whose parents didn’t manifest properly, who bring non-organic cookies to school.
Women will save the world
Oh, and here you are female business owner. I see you, you badass She-EO, #GirlBoss! Look at you building your empire!
What, you’re still burning out? Overwhelmed? Not rich and happy yet? Well better hustle harder, but in an ethical way so you don’t cause more damage with your private business anchored solidly in a capitalist system.
You’re a therapist/teacher/climate activist but you’re struggling to bring your business or non-profit off the ground, find those clients to help?
Well didn’t you know you should be spending 80% of your time marketing your business, not helping your patients, teaching or you know… “doing the activism”.
The wheels of the content bus go round and round
How else are you gonna keep up with creating your valuable CONTENT? The reels? And tik toks? And FacebookInstagramPinterestLinkedin?
No time to sleep! You need to feed the algorithms twice a day, morning and night. Or they’ll forget about you and your flailing enterprise will disappear into oblivion.
But don’t worry, here’s a $27 Trello template that you can steal 😉 with all my secrets so this will never happen to you…
Because that’s how capitalism works: you need to create your own destiny if you really want to help people. And once you’re a millionaire you’ll be able to use all that money for good.
I could go on.
But I’m exhausted.
Of playing all the games I don’t want to play because a handful of old megalomaniac men have decided this is the game we’re playing.
I’m tired of making one sacrifice after the other because of THE ECONOMY. Of accepting to live in a world on fire because of GROWTH.
And here’s the worst part: I don’t know what else to do. I don’t have the answers. I also have to play these shit games. To survive. No, thrive!
Because I should also really be living my best life right now. After all, I’m privileged and I’m a digital nomad and that’s what we do. And what’s the point in complaining if I don’t have solutions. #GoodVibesOnly Jenny, don’t be such a downer.
Better educate yourself more. Care more about ALL the causes in the world, because we all need to know everything about everything at all times otherwise we shouldn’t even be complaining.
But stay humble. And use our voices, because of that privilege. (even now I feel I have to add a disclaimer that I am aware of my privilege. I am a white, Jewish woman who lost half her family in the holocaust at the hands of white supremacists and, yes, I still have privilege! I do, I get it.)
All of this.
So I’m too exhausted to travel 3 hours to London changing trains 3 times (for £50) on a broken public transport system to show up at a protest. I’m too tired to even make a difference on a local level. Or to prepare my vegan organic meal.
So, I order a “cheeky McDonalds” because I have no energy left to cook. Well aware of the palm oil and the burning Amazon rainforest and the cows. I’m full but I’m empty.
So I consume more media, doom scroll more to make sure I know EVERYTHING because once I know everything, then I can finally be the best leader of this community and the best ally and do EXACTLY the right thing to change the world. To make it a better place.
Because that’s my responsibility isn’t it? As a good little individual in a capitalist, patriarchal, racist society. To make all the right choices and save the world from the apocalypse.
Be the change you want to see…
We are all carrying the whole world on our little shoulders. Because, guess what? Our generation was already supposed to be the smart offspring and we should have already fixed the mess of past generations.
Ooops.
It’s definitely not the Elon Musks, the Jeffrey Bezos’, the Zuckerbergs, the Putins, the Johnsons, the Bolsonaros, the Trumps.
Not the CEOs of BP, Shell, Gazprom, Monsanto, Nestle, Amazon.
No, it’s all on me and my little shoulders. The little shoulders carrying their £20 recycled jute tote bag to the local zero waste shop to buy enough organic granola to give me the energy to change the world tomorrow. Hopefully.
Wish me luck.
This article was originally published on the Digital Nomad Girls blog.
If you want to have conversations like this with other angry women who are navigating running their businesses in a capitalist world, then check out The Lab.
